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Seating exes and relatives who don’t get on

You can’t fix every relationship on your wedding day. You can make it easy for everyone to have a good time anyway.

By the Tablewright editors · how we write guides5 min readUpdated 20 October 2026

Distance and sight lines

Put people who don’t get on at different tables — and not directly facing each other across a gap. Opposite sides of the dance floor is ideal. Don’t exile anyone to the back as a statement; equal-quality tables keep it neutral.

Use buffers

Friendly, socially easy guests make great buffers between tables of people with history. Seat the most relaxed relatives and friends on the tables in between, and nearest the bar and dance floor, where people mingle.

Exes at the wedding

  • Your ex: if they’re invited (for example as part of a friend group), seat them with that group, away from your table and your new family.
  • A guest’s ex: if both are invited, different tables, ideally in different parts of the room; give each a table of their own friends.
  • New partners: seat them with their partner, among friendly people — never as the stranger at the ex’s table.

Make it stick: keep-apart rules

The danger isn’t the first draft — it’s the late reshuffle at 11pm when someone cancels. In Tablewright, add a “keep apart” rule for each pair. Auto-seat respects it, and if anyone ever moves them together, the checks panel flags it in red.

What to say

If you think someone will mind where they’re seated, tell them before the day: “We’ve put you with the cousins — you’ll have a great table, and you won’t be near X.” People take it much better from you in advance than from the board on the day.

Plan it, then print itPaste your guest list, seat everyone on a to-scale floor plan, and print the sign and cards — free, no account.

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